Schadenfraude too

I have been gone too long. After two months of insufflation in La Paz, we have all but completed two weeks of volunteering at animal refuge La Senda Verde near Coroico in Bolivia (the website will be improved in the near future). In the meantime, Watford have sold all their best players (Tommy Smith eventually went to Portsmouth and was followed by a petulant Mike Williamson, Tamas Priskin went to Ipswich, Jobi McAnuff and Grzegorz Rasiak followed Brendan Rogers to Reading). The latter two players combined to put Reading ahead in our Saturday showdown but Danny Graham continued his scoring form (six already in nine matches) to get us a point at the Madjeski. There is great satisfaction at seeing Ipswich and Reading poach from us and now struggle in the bottom four while we sit in a far better-than-expected seventh (Newcastle are threatening to run away with it), which makes us closer in position to bottom-of-the-Premiership Portsmouth than to either of our championship rivals.
We got old-boy Heidar Helguson back and he scored twice in a recent 3-3 "thriller" with Leicester and although now injured, I´d back him to beat Saturday´s red-carded Nathan Ellington in the goals tally even if H didn´t find the net again all year. Coventry at home tonight and if we can send them back pointless to whence they came, we might even nick a play-off position. Okay, okay: it is early days.

Same difference

Watford v Hull City

Sunday 11^th May

Our play-off semi-final first leg was full of incident and we actually played pretty well. With a Danny Shittu header disallowed after only five minutes, the boisterous Yellow Army might have been forgiven for thinking we’d score at home at last but with Nathan Ellington anonymous throughout, it was left for Jobi McAnuff to have the best (missed) chances with Tamas Priskin forcing a good save from their keeper and man-of-the-match, Myhill. However, way before the Hungarian impressed, we’d let in two early goals. The first derived from a mistake by centre-back Danny Shittu, who clashed into Mat Sadler out in the left-back’s position, leaving their winger to cross for a shot from Nick Barmby to slip under keeper Richard Lee. Fifteen minutes later after another scramble, Lee was unable to get up quick enough to stop a header from Dean “who ate all the pies” Windass.

The fans stayed behind the team for once and willed a goal before half-time that didn’t come. We started the second half in blistering form but that goal didn’t come and then our captain, John Eustace, got himself sent off for the second time in a couple of months and although we remained the better team, our chances of reducing the deficit ahead of Wednesday slipped by.

A good day

Watford v Coventry City

Saturday 5^th April

For the second home game in three there were ridiculous queues to get into the Rookery (named after a silk mill at this end of town) and fans were getting angry with the stewards, especially after one directed us through previously shut gates telling us that she’d managed to get another turnstile open, only for us to be turned back again and have to hear her apologies. Last time it was due to a power failure but it seems to be down to the building work now. Why fans weren’t warned in advance if that is the case, I don’t know, but have mailed the club to complain.

We were in our seats five minutes into the match and had the surprising greeting of a goal from the perennially uninterested Duke, Nathan Ellington. If he is indeed a confidence player, the level of his self-belief can be no higher than the shot he had that slid along the turf and into the back of the net past Kasper Schmeichel, who was making his second visit to the Vic after blowing a kiss to a heckler near us in his previous loan spell (Cardiff on Boxing Day). Waving flags that had been given out before I got there, the fans cheered on the team as we dominated the rest of the first half and had a couple of good chances but only took a single goal lead into the break.

I used half-time to have an each-way flutter on a couple of horses in the Grand National (based only on their names) and watching Sky Sports News on the screens on the concourse stands so as to stay out of the rain, we were pleased to see Bristol City losing at Southampton. The other teams at the top weren’t playing: WBA had lost their FA Cup semi-final to Portsmouth earlier and Stoke host Crystal Palace on Monday. Other fixtures were affected by the fact that two more Championship sides meet in the other cup semi tomorrow.

Coventry took the game to us after the break and on about the hour mark they equalised, resulting in the predictable frustration from the less than faithful among the Watford “supporters”, and soon there were shouts for the manager to make the sort of changes he has failed to inspire with on too many occasions this season. As we got close to the eightieth minute I’d heard that Comply or Die had won the National so went to collect my winnings in the belief that I wouldn’t be missing much. Slim Pickings, my other horse, had come in fourth so there was money due on that too. I was watching on the screen as Tommy Smith latched on to a Richard Lee punt and put us back in front. I shouted first, alerting all the other frustrated fans around, and collected more than £50 winnings as the team took all three points.

Passing point

Watford v Preston North End

Saturday 23^rd February

Had an email from the club about renewing season tickets that I didn’t have time to respond to before I left a little earlier than usual. I stopped off at the Buzz Store and bought a t-shirt I thought Joss would like but when I got to Kerry’s and asked how his behaviour had been, she ummed and erred and brought out his recent school report. There were 15 negative referrals (13 positive) and they included things like throwing a sweet at a supply teacher. I was not impressed and put on my best “This is not acceptable” face.

Walking to the ground I told the younger Watford Boy that I would not buy him a season ticket for next year unless his next report was better (seven or fewer negative referrals). Though I stressed that I meant it, we will have to wait until June to discover whether it has the desired effect. I took the opportunity to explain to my bumfluffed nephew that I wouldn’t be around for much of the following season.

We were a couple of minutes late despite my good intentions this morning and I had to gesture a “hop it” at the boys who’d temporarily occupied our seats. A group of kids Joss reckons to be 12-14 seems to have built up in the location of the front-row singers: I overhead one say he came down from where he sat with his dad elsewhere. They guy on the opposite side of the aisle, who I have mentioned before and whose name is Liam, is clearly their inspiration. He’s funny and passionate and “our” leader. I play the loudest voiced lieutenant, though we’ve never talked, and of course there are others in the Yellow Army around the front who lead chants and songs too. These boys are the new recruits and slightly annoying one or two of them were too, at times, but essentially harmless and learning how to behave at football matches. I can’t help hoping Joss is a little more mature in my absence, but I doubt it.

Well, we in the front and back rows cheered them on as usual, as Watford played a good passing game (not so usual) for much of the first half, bossing possession and with some good opportunities, many of which Jobi McAnuff played an important role in creating. However, Nathan Ellington wasted a couple of the resulting free-kicks and Darius Henderson missed at a tight angle after rounding the keeper (“Lonergan, you were long gone”, our leader taunted). The guy behind us (OK, I promise I’ll ask his name next time) talked to me and we chatted about our better football and the games to come.

The second half was much of the same though Preston had a period of possession that didn’t trouble us (they’d hit the post in the first half). We kept cheering them on and “we’re the back row” started and resulted in one guy in the middle standing up only to have to change his contribution from “We’re the middle” to “I am the middle over here”, which served as light relief. Then Danny Shittu headed against the post and it was hard at first to tell that the ball was looping out and away. Finally, Hendo and Nathan Ellington combined to bundle the ball in but even as I was hugging Joss someone said it had been disallowed. At the final whistle, we clapped as some of the people, a tiny “middle” minority, booed. The same people, of course, who had failed to sing all game.

I went round to Sarah & Trevor’s to deliver a belated birthday gift to my two-year-old niece, Kasey. Her parents had primed her with the information that “Uncle Handsome” was coming round so as she is learning to speak she is associating the word handsome with my face. Who knows what damage that will do her? All were well and in fine form, with Beth as keen to be in front of the camera as ever.

Ploughing back to top

Ipswich Town v Watford

Saturday 9^th February

Ipswich hadn’t lost at home for almost a year when Watford came calling. With a first-half goal from Tommy Smith and a second from Nathan Ellington after the break, the Tractor Boys’ record was broken before their consolation goal. West Brom lost at Barnsley so we are top of the league again.

Oh what an atmosphere

Watford v Wolverhampton Wanderers

Saturday 2^nd February

I met Jo at Euston about 1:45 and we had the first pint in the Britannia overlooking the concourse and the dirt and dust of the kiosk roofs waiting for Ali. It was to be Jo’s first ever game and Ali’s first in England: they were excited. I was just hoping for better than last week. They marvelled over the speed of the journey (a first on Silverlink, I’m sure) and we were supping in Watford’s Moon Under Water by three. A drink in the Three Bells and then past St Mary’s to the Oddfellows. I was giving a running commentary all the while (I used to live there, this is new, used to work here) and they listened with good grace.

I chatted with some no-colours Wolves fan in the second pub and later we were surrounded by them in the place I used to be a pot-boy. Ali told me there’d been something in the newspaper about Maradonna retracting something to do with “the hand of God” and admitting that it was his hand. Sitting next to a table of Wolves fans I had to tell the story of the cheating Argie (I managed to get in a good bit about John Barnes’ crosses, for good measure) to someone who’d never heard it before.

Joss went in before us but after we had taken some pics outside the ground we joined him and then went to sit with a better view where the girls had tickets. There was bugger all atmosphere around though, despite Steve Kabba getting his first Watford goal within a minute. The woman next to me complained when Jo leant back to say something and so we returned to the “front row” at half-time (after a beer).

That turned out to be the best move of the day. It was a party down the front and I led my fair share of chants, the newbies joining in too. There seems to be a new bunch down there (we’ve been elsewhere for three games and the father of the father-and-son behind us that I half-chat to had mentioned they thought we’d given up) but there were some of the usual faces too.

Second half saw two Tommy Smith goals in two minutes, though I thought until Sunday that Nathan Ellington had scored the first, and we spent the rest of the game on our feet as I became ever more hoarse. Favourite new song was for Kabba: "He used to be shite, but now he's all right..."

We walked Joss down to meet Kerry and Phil and then headed back to pubs in town, managing a crawl down to the pond end. Last was O’Neils, where some guy tried I talked to tried to make a racist joke at Malky Mckay’s expense, clearly unaware that he was white. After that, it was non-stop Watford cleavage all night. Jo and Ali attempted to make football conversation but were non-plussed that nobody except us cared. After hanging around to see whether the local constabulary had much to do, we caught a late train back, and I was at home about one, whispering.

Blades point

Sheffield United v Watford

Tuesday 29^th January

Nathan Ellington got his second goal in consecutive league games in the first-half as Watford went in one-up at half-time. The BBC describe the Blades’ goal as “bundled in” and we dominated a match that brought us a point closer to West Brom, who lost at Preston as we did so recently.

Are you watching?

Watford v Charlton Athletic

Saturday 19^th January

The news that Calum Davenport had come in on loan from West Ham was insufficient to quell doubts about our future after the week that saw Watford reject a four-and-a-half million pound bid for Marlon King, Aidy Boothroyd saying “We don’t need to sell”, before accepting a five-million pound bid, with the manager now saying “We are a selling club”.

It is the lack of ambition that is disturbing. We have sold “The King of Vicarage Road” to Fulham, currently second bottom of the Premiership with exactly the same number of points (15) that we had at the same stage (23 games) last season. Why would he want to go there? Ten or fifteen thousand more a week is the answer. Why would we want to sell him? Do we need the money? What happened to the ambition the club has been talking about? If promotion is worth £60 million, why wouldn’t we look at investing for that?

As we walked down Hagden Lane, Joss created a new version of an old favourite: “Ee, i, ee, i, ee, i, oh, down the football league we go. When we get relegation, this is what we sing, we sold Marlon, we sold Marlon, we sold Marlon King.” We got in with a few minutes to spare and sat a few rows back to stay out of the drizzle. Nathan Ellington, in the starting line-up, got a big round of applause as did the new loanee defender.

Davenport started well and looked a far better player than Matt Jackson but did make a small mistake in the middle of the first half. Twenty minutes later, though, he was stretchered from their six-yard box after a four-man collision. We clapped the prostrate figure off and Adrian Mariappa came on, necessitating a change around at the back. Four minutes of stoppage time saw Charlton go nearest to scoring but it was goalless at half-time.

Tommy Smith was our man of the match, running at and passing his man time after time but Damien Francis had looked closest to scoring in the first half. In the second, he dummied a Darius Henderson ball, allowing the Duke to pass the ball into the net in front of us. Things might just be OK after all. The back row sang “Are you watching Marlon King?” and “Fulham are going down” and even added the line “We hate Marlon King” to the “ee, i,” song, which, considering the number of members of staff leaving the club recently, was a bit harsh.

But it was not to be three points. Richard Lee, who’d already made one great stop and made another with five minutes to go, somehow mistimed a dive and allowed the ball to bounce through him and in for a Charlton point. They even threatened to score again but I think honours-even was a fair result.

Four out of three

After a gripping 2-2 home draw with seventeenth-placed Colchester closely followed last week’s lame 3-0 drubbing by West Brom at Vicarage Road, there are some among Watford’s Yellow Army who are losing the faith. Not least because we beat Norwich convincingly at Carrow Road midweek and had 26 goal attempts against the U’s, I am still part of the Watford faithful.

The Hornets have won eleven of sixteen games and are eight points clear of second-placed Charlton at the top of the Championship, though West Brom can close the gap to six points on Monday if they win at Coventry. It’s a great start for the club that was relegated bottom of the Premiership in May, six points below nineteenth-placed Charlton and eleven points from safety. At first sight, the current position seems even more impressive given the sale of Ashley Young and Hameur Bouazza, two players who emerged through the youth-team and scored almost a third of the Hornet’s goals in the top flight.

Scratch those facts though and you see that those two players only scored eight goals between them (Young left in January) and the team managed only 28, one fewer than they have so far in the second tier. This season is already a different prospect: Darius Henderson and Marlon King have each scored nine and Adam Johnson, on loan from Middlesbrough, is on five. Current rates would see both players score more than they did when we won promotion two years ago. The year in the Premiership, most of which “the King of Vicarage Road” missed through injury, leaving “Doris” playing in an unfamiliar role, can partly be dismissed as part of the learning curve that Watford are on.

Watford’s early success comes despite the repeated assertion by the manager – Aidy “Betty” Boothroyd – that the team is not playing well and that there is better to come. That may just be a psychological tactic but there are not many who would claim Watford are artists of the beautiful game. “Three nil to the football team,” Baggies’ fans taunted last week and there was a poverty of imagination from the Golden Boys in that game. Going two goals down in a two-minute spell is not explanation enough; Watford have played the long ball, the percentage game, even when they didn’t need to. There are glimpses of better but it might not be until Gareth Williams and Damien Francis come back from injury that the midfield can hope to be significantly more confident in the passing game.

Before I go on to the hypothetical, perhaps I should justify my faith. Some Watford fans allow themselves to be haunted by memories of 2000/1, when Watford briefly topped the table ahead of the competition (Fulham) at about this stage of the season before a thrashing at Craven Cottage saw the Hertfordshire club limp to a 9^th placed finish. Betty and others have stated that it is far too early to be looking at this season’s table but is that true? Can history tell us anything other than the fact that seven years Watford drifted into the sort of oblivion that Cardiff managed last season? Top after 16 games with 33 points, the Bluebirds finished 13^th on 64 points, thereby managing the rare feat of winning more points in the first third of the season than in the following two-thirds added together.

Yes. History can tell us that last season was a real blip. After sixteen games, eventual champions Sunderland were in 17^th position and neither of the other promoted sides was in the top three. In each of the previous four seasons, at least one of the automatically promoted teams was in a top two position at this point (Both Reading and Sheffield United in 2005/6, Wigan (eventually second) were top with 36 points after 16 games in 2004/5, WBA second after 16 and second at the end of 2003/4, Portsmouth and Leicester top and second (as they would finish) at this point of 2002/3. At least one of Watford, West Brom or Charlton are statistically likely to be automatically promoted. Many fans predicted that in August, though. Then again, they would probably have suggested Sheffield United would be in the mix too. Unless they “do a Sunderland”, the best they can hope for is the play-offs, like all but the bottom five clubs.

The table is far from irrelevant, whatever anyone tries to say. Tables do not lie any more after sixteen games than they do after forty six; they simply incorporate less information. Tables speak stats and matches speak stories: Watford players are disappointed with draws while their opponents are over the proverbial natural satellite. That is because Watford are top, and top they will stay for the rest of this year, though perhaps not the rest of the season. As well as the goal scorers, they have the team ethic necessary to navigate the Championship steeplechase.

There will be a wobble. There has to be, and some seem to think we are already feeling it. They may be right but with the international break upon us, it will be some time before we see whether that is the case. Betty has brought the team out of the other two breaks with back-to-back wins and there is no reason why Barnsley away and Burnley at home should not be games Watford can win, especially since their form away is now better than at home.

Watford can probably afford to lose two more games before Christmas and still be top when they travel to Southampton on New Year’s Day 2008. Bristol City, second for a handful of matches, can now be written out of the top two positions, especially since they travel to Vicarage Road and The Hawthorns in December. WBA also host Charlton and Wolves within the next five weeks. If they take maximum points from these three home games, they are likely to open up a gap over the third place team and could perhaps even steal pole position. For that to happen, though, their away record will have to improve.

I predict that Watford will be top of the Championship on December 31^st 2007. With the loss of ‘Boro on-loan wonder-kid Johnson and a defensive gap created by Danny Shittu going to the African Cup, the opening of the transfer window in January will be crucial to all of the teams looking for promotion and perhaps even for their subsequent possibility of surviving in the Premiership. Even the automatically-promoted teams will need to have better players and better teams than they have now. However, it is not just a question of buying in players that make the team stronger (rather than just boosting the squad) but also the capacity to avoid being raided by more-moneyed Premiership clubs when those windows open.

Aidy Boothroyd has proved he has what it takes to motivate his players. Some doubt his ability in the transfer market and it seems that the majority of those bought and brought into the squad in January 2007 have been superfluous to the team’s requirements. The summer splash brought in Jobi McAnuff from Crystal Palace and Nathan Ellington from WBA but these two players have yet to justify their transfer fees. The competition for places created by their purchase, though, may be a part of the motivation for the 23 goals scored by the players keeping them out of the team.

I have faith. Come and check it again in January.

Three out of Four

After a gripping 2-2 home draw with seventeenth-placed Colchester closely followed last week’s lame 3-0 drubbing by West Brom at Vicarage Road, there are some among Watford’s Yellow Army who are losing the faith. Not least because we beat Norwich convincingly at Carrow Road midweek and had 26 goal attempts against the U’s, I am still part of the Watford faithful.

The Hornets have won eleven of sixteen games and are eight points clear of second-placed Charlton at the top of the Championship, though West Brom can close the gap to six points on Monday if they win at Coventry. It’s a great start for the club that was relegated bottom of the Premiership in May, six points below nineteenth-placed Charlton and eleven points from safety. At first sight, the current position seems even more impressive given the sale of Ashley Young and Hameur Bouazza, two players who emerged through the youth-team and scored almost a third of the Hornet’s goals in the top flight.

Scratch those facts though and you see that those two players only scored eight goals between them (Young left in January) and the team managed only 28, one fewer than they have so far in the second tier. This season is already a different prospect: Darius Henderson and Marlon King have each scored nine and Adam Johnson, on loan from Middlesbrough, is on five. Current rates would see both players score more than they did when we won promotion two years ago. The year in the Premiership, most of which “the King of Vicarage Road” missed through injury, leaving “Doris” playing in an unfamiliar role, can partly be dismissed as part of the learning curve that Watford are on.

Watford’s early success comes despite the repeated assertion by the manager – Aidy “Betty” Boothroyd – that the team is not playing well and that there is better to come. That may just be a psychological tactic but there are not many who would claim Watford are artists of the beautiful game. “Three nil to the football team,” Baggies’ fans taunted last week and there was a poverty of imagination from the Golden Boys in that game. Going two goals down in a two-minute spell is not explanation enough; Watford have played the long ball, the percentage game, even when they didn’t need to. There are glimpses of better but it might not be until Gareth Williams and Damien Francis come back from injury that the midfield can hope to be significantly more confident in the passing game.

Before I go on to the hypothetical, perhaps I should justify my faith. Some Watford fans allow themselves to be haunted by memories of 2000/1, when Watford briefly topped the table ahead of the competition (Fulham) at about this stage of the season before a thrashing at Craven Cottage saw the Hertfordshire club limp to a 9^th placed finish. Betty and others have stated that it is far too early to be looking at this season’s table but is that true? Can history tell us anything other than the fact that seven years Watford drifted into the sort of oblivion that Cardiff managed last season? Top after 16 games with 33 points, the Blues finished 13^th on 64 points, thereby managing the rare feat of winning more points in the first third of the season than in the following two-thirds added together.

Yes. History can tell us that last season was a real blip. After sixteen games, eventual champions Sunderland were in 17^th position and neither of the other promoted sides was in the top three. In each of the previous four seasons, at least one of the automatically promoted teams was in a top two position at this point (Both Reading and Sheffield United in 2005/6, Wigan (eventually second) were top with 36 points after 16 games in 2004/5, WBA second after 16 and second at the end of 2003/4, Portsmouth and Leicester top and second (as they would finish) at this point of 2002/3. At least one of Watford, West Brom or Charlton are statistically likely to be automatically promoted. Many fans predicted that in August, though. Then again, they would probably have suggested Sheffield United would be in the mix too. Unless they “do a Sunderland”, the best they can hope for is the play-offs, like all but the bottom five clubs.

The table is far from irrelevant, whatever anyone tries to say. Tables do not lie any more after sixteen games than they do after forty six; they simply incorporate less information. Tables speak stats and matches speak stories: Watford players are disappointed with draws while their opponents are over the proverbial natural satellite. That is because Watford are top, and top they will stay for the rest of this year, though perhaps not the rest of the season. As well as the goal scorers, they have the team ethic necessary to navigate the Championship steeplechase.

There will be a wobble. There has to be, and some seem to think we are already feeling it. They may be right but with the international break upon us, it will be some time before we see whether that is the case. Betty has brought the team out of the other two breaks with back-to-back wins and there is no reason why Barnsley away and Burnley at home should not be games Watford can win, especially since their form away is now better than at home.

Watford can probably afford to lose two more games before Christmas and still be top when they travel to Southampton on New Year’s Day 2008. Bristol City, second for a handful of matches, can now be written out of the top two positions, especially since they travel to Vicarage Road and The Hawthorns in December. WBA also host Charlton and Wolves within the next five weeks. If they take maximum points from these three home games, they are likely to open up a gap over the third place team and could perhaps even steal pole position. For that to happen, though, their away record will have to improve.

I predict that Watford will be top of the Championship on December 31^st 2007. With the loss of ‘Boro on-loan wonder-kid Johnson and a defensive gap created by Danny Shittu going to the African Cup, the opening of the transfer window in January will be crucial to all of the teams looking for promotion and perhaps even for their subsequent possibility of surviving in the Premiership. Even the automatically-promoted teams will need to have better players and better teams than they have now. However, it is not just a question of buying in players that make the team stronger (rather than just boosting the squad) but also the capacity to avoid being raided by more-moneyed Premiership clubs when those windows open.

Aidy Boothroyd has proved he has what it takes to motivate his players. Some doubt his ability in the transfer market and it seems that the majority of those bought and brought into the squad in January 2007 have been superfluous to the team’s requirements. The summer splash brought in Jobi McAnuff from Crystal Palace and Nathan Ellington from WBA but these two players have yet to justify their transfer fees. The competition for places created by their purchase, though, may be a part of the motivation for the 23 goals scored by the players keeping them out of the team.

I have faith. Come and check it again in January.

Top of the League

Watford v Ipswich Town

Saturday 1^st September

Optimistic about our possibilities against a team a point above us, on the train I studied the table and fixtures in the small print of my Guardian to hypothesise positions come five o’clock. Ipswich outplayed us last season in the F.A. Cup but we beat them and I was confident we could repeat the feat. Watford broke their club record fee, paying £3.25 million (rising to £4.25 million) for Nathan “Duke” Ellington from West Brom and picked up a young Argentinean from River Plate on loan this week, which feel like good signings.

I cycled over to Kerry’s for two from the junction to three generations of Goodchilds. Trevor opened the door, Phil made us tea and I chatted with Mum and Brian, who are down for Mo’s Ruby (40^th) Wedding Anniversary Party. Trevor and Sarah had Beth and Kasey with them and the latter is beginning to recognise me, which is lovely. By the end of the day I was getting hugs and kisses.

Joss and I new-routed up to Willow Lane and then across the hospital car park and got in after Z-Cars, which seems to have been put back to its traditional time, and before the kick-off. The Golden Boys, made to play towards the Rookery in the first-half, started well and kept possession far better than in the match seven months ago, while Ipswich hardly threatened. After only 12 minutes, a cushioned header back from Lee Williamson to Darius Henderson resulted in a poor strike going under the recipient, after celebrations for the goal, of “dodgy keeper” chants.

Henderson had a couple of heading chances that went wide before half time but Tommy Smith seemed off the pace again while Marlon King didn’t seem to get in many scoring positions. It was really all us though until after the break when Ipswich had their predictable “period” and we defended “resolutely”. The Rookery were supporting well and the favourite “Mar-lon, Mar-lon, Mar-lon, Mar-lon, he is the King of Vicarage Road” was supplemented today by the presence of our honorary life president: “El-ton, (etc), he is the queen of Vicarage Road”. It felt great to be singing so affectionately when “poof” is still shouted at players who fail to prove themselves sufficiently manly to the seated beer drinkers watching.

Elton gave us a wave and a thoroughly professional performance was capped by Smith dancing between two defenders and smashing it home. Joss and I hugged and the guy in front appeared to start to join in. “Duke “ came on for Henderson, who got a long sing-off, and made a nuisance of himself a few times before the end, hitting the post. Man of the match, though, had to be Lloyd Doyley, whose defending was almost perfect and whose name was sung in celebration of us being top (at least until Coventry won their later game).