Beer as art

My twenty four weeks in London were an extension of an on-going period of time-off that began in China, October 2008, and saw me washing down and then writing down the beers I came across. Half of my London goal, then, was to drink as many different beers – and more specifically ales – as I could. My main limitation was not financial, temporal or biological but merely the monotony of choice in many of the pubs I visited. Invariably, in those tied-houses, I would have a half and move on in search of greater diversity.

Variety is limited in the lager world; I supped more than fifty in London and another forty or so in a handful of other countries and – bar the demarcation between wheat and non-wheat ones – would have trouble distinguishing many of them. Not so with British real ales. In the three hundred plus pubs I visited (and with some bottled beers too), I managed just short of 300. Proud as I was of enjoying 107 different beers in 2009, the addition of real ale varieties took me over 400 discrete beers in 2010, a number I can’t see myself surpassing this year.

I list the ales here because, after all, that is what writing them down is about. Before that though, two things. First I recommend Morocco by Daleside brewery as my favourite: spicy and full-bodied. Great in the summer and probably equally suited to the winter. Second, I laid claim during my summer of ale to this being a type of performance art, an observation met with scorn by one of my mates in particular (“Well, he’s a lager drinker,” it was said of him). So, if I cannot be said to be a performance artist for managing 300 pubs and 400 beers in 2010, perhaps we can agree on a simpler term: "p. artist" will do.

Happy New Year all.

297 Ales

1.            Acorn                    Old Moor Porter

2.            Adnams               Bitter

3.            Adnams               Southwold Stout

4.            Adnams               Broadside

5.            Adnams               East Green Carbon Neutral

6.            Adnam’s              Explorer

7.            Adnams               Regatta

8.            Adnams               Ghost Ship

9.            Adnam’s              Gunhill (good spicy beer)

10.          Anglo Dutch         Kletsman

11.          Arram                   Dark

12.          Badger                  England’s Gold

13.          Badger                  Fursty Ferret

14.          Badger                  First Gold

15.          Badger                  Golden Champion

16.          Badger                  Golden Glory

17.          Badger                  Original Ale

18.          Banks’s                 UCB

19.          Bank Top             Dark Mild

20.          Barnsley               Gold

21.          Bass

22.          Bateman’s          GHA

23.          Bateman’s          XXXB

24.          Bateman              Victory Ale

25.          Batemans            Valiant

26.          Bath ales              Ginger Hare

27.          Bath ales              Barnstormer

28.          Bath ales              Gem

29.          Battledown           Natural Selection

30.          B&T             Phantom Thirst

31.          Beartown           

32.          Black Beauty      Porter

33.          Black Sheep

34.          Black Sheep        Gold Sheep

35.          Boddingtons

36.          Brain’s                  Dark

37.          Brains                    SA

38.          Brain’s                  Monty’s Magic

39.          Brains                    Steam Wagon

40.          Brain’s                  SA Gold

41.          Brain’s                  Merlin’s Oak

42.          Brains (Buckley)    Reverend James

43.          Brakspear            EPA

44.          Brakspear            bitter

45.          Brakspear            Oxford Gold

46.          Brakspear            Triple

47.          Brew Dog            Punk IPA

48.          Brooklyn Brewery

49.          Burton Bridge    Kingsway

50.          Bushy’s               Piston Brew

51.          Butcombe           Bitter

52.          Cairgorm              Black Gold

53.          Caffreys

54.          Caledonian         Autumn Red

55.          Caledonian         Mellow Yellow

56.          Caledonian         Edinburgh strong ale

57.          Camden               Pale Ale

58.          Camden               Wheat Lager

59.          Camden               Hells Lager

60.          Camden               Wheat Beer (?)

61.          Cannon Royall   Fruiterer’s Mild

62.          Castle Rock         Harvest Pale

63.          Celt                        Golden Ale

64.          Chiltern                                Ale

65.          Clark’s                   Rams Revenge

66.          Coach House      Dick Turpin

67.          Cottage               Champflower

68.          Courage               Best

69.          Cropton               dutch wink

70.          Dale’s                  Old Chestnut

71.          Daleside               Morocco

72.          Dark Horse          Birdie

73.          Dartmoor            Best

74.          Davenport’s       Fury

75.          Derventio            Emperor’s Whim

76.          Deuchars             IPA

77.          Earl Soham          Sir Roger’s Porter

78.          Elgood’s               Cambridge bitter

79.          Elgood’s               Strong Bitter

80.          Elmwood             Good Cheer Beer

81.          Everard’s             Equinox

82.          Everard’s             Flourish

83.          Everard’s             Golden Zest

84.          Everards              Sunchaser

85.          Everards              Tiger

86.          Falstaff                 Harpy

87.          Felinfoel              Double Dragon

88.          Flowers               Original

89.          Fraoch                 Heather Ale

90.          Freewinner          Bumble Bee Honey Ale

91.          Fuller’s                 Red fox

92.          Fuller’s                 Discovery

93.          Fuller’s                 ESB

94.          Fuller’s                 London Pride

95.          Fuller’s                 Mr Harry

96.          Fuller’s                 Chiswick

97.          Fuller’s                 Honeydew

98.          Fuller’s                1845

99.          George Gale         Seafarers Ale

100.        Golcar                Dark Mild

101.        Goacher’s           Stout

102.        Great Newsome Pricky Back Otchan

103.        Great Oakley     Gobble

104.        Green Jack        Orange Wheat

105.        Greene King      Abbots

106.        GK                    Abbott Reserve

107.        Greene King       Back of the net

108.        Greene King       Bretwalda

109.        Greene King       George Inn  ale

110.        Greene King       IPA

111.        Greene King       LBW

112.        Greene King       Olde Trip

113.        Greene King       Phoenix

114.        Greene King       Royal London

115.        Greene King       St Edmunds

116.        Greene King       Sherlock Holmes Ale

117.        Greene King       Sun Dance

118.        Greene King       London Glory

119.        Guinness             Red

120.        Guinness            

121.        Harvey’s              Sussex beer

122.        Henry’s                IPA

123.        High House Farm Cyril the Magnificent

124.        Hogs Back            Tea

125.        Holden’s              Bottom knocker

126.        Holden’s              Bitter

127.        Hook Norton      Haymaker

128.        Hop Back             Summer Lightning

129.        Hydes                   Ringmaster

130.        Hydes   Hubble Bubble

131.        Ind Coope’s        Burton Ale

132.        Island Brewery Yachtsman         

133.        Jennings              Cocker Hoop

134.        Jennings              Golden Host

135.        Jennings              Sneck Lifter

136.        JW Lees             Chocaholic

137.        Kelburn               Red Smiddy

138.        Kelham                 Pale Rider

139.        Kelham island    Pride of Sheffield

140.        Kilkenny               Smithwicks

141.        Kingstone            1503

142.        Leeds                    Monsoon

143.        Lion                        Stout

144.        Loddon                 Bamboozle

145.        Lymestone         Stone Cutter

146.        Marston’s           Brewers Droop

147.        Marston’s           Double drop

148.        Marston’s           Old Empire

149.        Marston’s           Owd Roger

150.        Marston’s           Oyster Stout

151.        Marston’s           Pedigree

152.        Mauldon’s          Mole Trap

153.        McMullen           Country bitter

154.        McMullen           IPA

155.        McMullen           Golden Bitter

156.        Meantime           London

157.        Meanwhile         Pale ale

158.        Mighty Oak         Ale

159.        Milestone (Notts)            Shine On

160.        Mongozo             Banana beer

161.        Moorhouse’s     Pride of Pendle

162.        Moorhouse’s     Pendle Witches Brew

163.        Mordue               Workie Ticket

164.        Morland               Old Speckled Hen

165.        Morland               Old Crafty Hen

166.        Murphy’s

167.        Naylor’s               Black and Tan

168.        Nelson                  Core Commander

169.        Nethergate        Old Growler

170.        Nethergate        Sweeney Todd

171.        Nethergate        Three Point Nine

172.        Newby Wyke     England Expects

173.        North Yorkshire                Crystal Tips

174.        Oakham Ales     Last of the Few

175.        Oak leaf               Hole hearted

176.        O’ Hanlon’s         Dragon Ale

177.        Otley                     01

178.        Palm                      Steenhuffel Blond

179.        Phoenix                               Monkeytown mild

180.        Pitstop                  Penelope

181.        Porterhouse      Brain Blasta

182.        Porterhouse      Plain Porter

183.        Porterhouse      Red

184.        Porterhouse      Oyster Stout

185.        Purity                    UBU      

186.        Purity                    Mad goose

187.        RCH                        Pitchfork

188.        RCH                        Old Slug Porter

189.        Redemption       Pale Ale

190.        Ringwood            Best Bitter

191.        Ringwood            Boondoggle

192.        Ringwood            Old Thumper

193.        Rooster’s             Bangtail

194.        Rudgate               Battle axe

195.        Rudgate               Ruby Mild

196.        Ruddles                                County

197.        Salamander        Dark Corner

198.        Salem                    Porterhouse

199.        Sambrook’s        Wandle

200.        Sambrook’s        Junction

201.        Samuel Adams  Blonde Ambition

202.        Samuel Smiths  Taddy Lager

203.        Sam Smiths         Sovereign

204.        Sam Smiths         Old Best

205.        Ss                            Taddy porter

206.        Samuel Smiths  Alpine Lager

207.        SS                           Pure Brewed Lager

208.        SS                           Organic Cherry Beer

209.        Sam Smiths         Stout

210.        SS                           Oatmeal Stout

211.        Sam Smiths         Organic wheat beer

212.        Samuel Smiths Nut Brown Ale

213.        S&N              Bulldog

214.        S&N              Newcastle Brown ALe

215.        Sharp’s                 Cornish coaster

216.        Sharp’s                 Doombar

217.        Sharp’s                 Special

218.        Sharp’s                 Red Ale

219.        Shepherd Neame         Whitstable Bay

220.        Shepherd Neame            Spitfire

221.        Shepherd Neame         Canterbury Jack

222.        Shepherd Neame            Late Red

223.        Shepherd Neame     Bishop’s Finger

224.        Shepherd Neame     Kent’s Best               

225.        Shepherd Neame            Goldings

226.        Sierra Nevada

227.        Skinner                 Betty Stogs

228.        Skipton                 Copper Dragon

229.        Slater’s                 Premium

230.        Sleeman              IPA

231.        Soltaire                 Harvest Moon Ale

232.        St Austell             Black Friar

233.        St Austell             Proper Job

234.        St Austell             Tribute

235.        Stonehenge       Pigswill

236.        An ale called “swift”

237.        Tetley’s               Cask

238.        Tetley’s               Midsommer Madness

239.        Tetley’s                Headless Huntsman

240.        Theakston           Old Peculier

241.        Thornbridge       Jaipur

242.        Thornbridge       Wild Swan

243.        Thornbridge       Kipling

244.        Three Castles, Pewsey  Saxon Archer

245.        Thwaites              Lancaster Bomber

246.        Thwaite’s            Highwayman

247.        Thwaite’s            Wainwright

248.        Thwaites              Original

249.        Thwaite’s            Strong Brown Ale

250.        Timothy Taylor  Landlord

251.        Tom Wood’s      Vanilla Orchid

252.        Triple F                 Autumn Daze

253.        Truman’s             Runner

254.        Tryst                      Blathen

255.        TS A                       Double Espresso

256.        Twickenham      Naked Ladies

257.        Wadworth          Henry’s

258.        Warwicks             Purity

259.        Wells & Young Courage Directors

260.        Wells                     Bombadier

261.        Wells                     Bombadier Burning Gold

262.        Wells                     Banana Bread Beer

263.        Wells                     Waggle Dance

264.        Welton’s              Heatwave

265.        Welton’s              Ewell sticks

266.        Welton’s              Chactonbury

267.        Welton’s              Magog

268.        Welton’s              Liquid Lunch

269.        Welton’s              Same Again

270.        Westerham        1965

271.        Westerham’s     Grasshopper

272.        Westerham        Special Pale Ale

273.        Westgate            Back of the net

274.        Westgate            Gangly Ghoul

275.        Winchester Ale

276.        Windie Goat       Final fling

277.        White Moon (????)         GB

278.        White Horse       Bitter

279.        White Horse       Wayland Smithy

280.        Wolf                      straw dog

281.        Woodforde’s     Wherry

282.        Wood’s                                Wonderful

283.        World Top           Mars Magic

284.        Worthington’s  

285.        Wrasslers XXXX Full Stout

286.        Wychwood         Hobgoblin

287.        Wychwood    King Goblin (Special Reserve)

288.        Young’s                                Best

289.        Youngs          Double chocolate stout

290.        York                       England’s Pride

291.        York Brewery     Centurion’s Ghost Ale

292.        Young’s               Golden Ale

293.        Young’s               London Gold

294.        Young’s               Kew

295.        Young’s                Light Ale

296.        Young’s                Ram Rod

297.        Youngs                 Special

London’s Superlative Pubs

Further to my report of the summer's expedition, I present here my first list of my findings.

The First Irish Pub outside Ireland

Though a particular acquaintance of mine may be so boorish as to propose that more than half of the three hundred pubs I looked in on were different branches of “O’Neills”, pay such nonsense no heed. I endeavoured to circumvent chains of the same name and entered not a single “Slug and Lettuce”, “All Bar One” or “Pitcher and Piano”. It would be remiss of me to fail to concede that I did deign to sup in a single “O’Neills” but compensated for a perceived – and entirely mistaken – tendency to be less than original by stopping by “The Tipperary” on Fleet Street, the site of a pub since 1605 and an Irish one for more than three hundred years. Some nice panelling and mirrors, but why there weren’t Guinness-themed hats on everybody’s head, I still fail to comprehend.

London’s First (and only) Scottish Pub

Remaining with the Celtic theme, “The Rob Roy” near Edgware Road underground station displays a breadth of football memorabilia related to Scottish teams. Though the landlord was a jovial chap, the establishment had no beers of note and little to recommend it or Scottish pubs in general.

The Oldest Riverside Pub

Visible across the Thames from the friends’ house in Rotherhithe where I stayed for half of my time in London, Wapping’s “Prospect of Whitby” is a characterful 490-year-old destination with good ales and a noose hanging on the banks of the river to boot (“Hanging”  Judge Jeffries used to drink here). A haunt for artists and writers at various times, its modern claim to celebrity comprises Del Boy’s visit in an episode of OF&H.

London’s Most Beautiful Pub

There may be some competition for this accolade, but I must declare the “Warrington Hotel” in Maida Vale to be my champion. Ornate on a grand scale, if one is to close one’s eyes ever-so-slightly, one could believe one were in a Renaissance Ballroom.

London’s Best Real Ale Pub

The dingy “Bree Louise” in close proximity to Euston train station has been awarded CAMRA’s London Pub of the Year status on more than one occasion but as I was fortuitous enough - when staying in Kentish Town - to live around the corner from “The Pineapple”, I availed myself of its beer festival on consecutive evenings and supped a dozen brews. 

London’s Grottiest Pub

Whilst there may be other contenders from the three hundred pubs I visited for “most beautiful” status, “The Globe” on Lisson Grove wins this category peerlessly. Adjectives fail me.

Best Theme Pub

Though full of suits when I visited, “The Sherlock Holmes” on Northumberland Avenue wins in this category for its range of exhibits. My favourite was the Greene King “Shelock Holmes” Ale, though admittedly it tasted suspiciously like the Greene King “George Inn Ale” found in Borough.

Thrice one hundred public houses

After nineteen months of cultural enrichment travelling the world between late 2008 and mid-2010, I determined to ensure my return to the greatest city in the solar system™ did not result in immediate philistinism. To that end, I revisited a handful of the big galleries and some of the major museums as well as journeying to England’s great centres of learning in my twenty four weeks in the United Kingdom but it was my efforts as regards those smaller institutions of cultivation, the public houses (and the tasting of the beverages within), which may be judged – by others, naturally, for I would not presume to assert thus – to have reached the status of ‘art’.[1]

Ultimately, the one hundred and sixty seven days I remained in England occasioned the visitation of three hundred and fifteen such establishments. Fourteen lay outside the boundaries of Greater London and it is the other three hundred and one which constitute the pool from which I draw the observations and opinions that make up my next log entries. The reputable organisation CAMRA asserts that the capital maintains approximately five thousand seven hundred public houses but other sources count as many as seven thousand. I hope I will be allowed, therefore, to claim that my summer jaunts in the name of art and culture took me to somewhere in the region of five percent of all London pubs.

Sadly, it has been reported in the venerable Times of London that British public houses are becoming defunct at the rate of fifty two per week. For that reason it is appropriate before listing to mourn a paragon of ale houses, the “Black Horse” in Fitzrovia which served an impressive range (it was a Nicholson’s pub) when I visited on twentieth June but which will quench travellers’ thirst no more.

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[1] For a final decision regarding this, please see also my entry on beers drunk in 2010.