The Dewey system

Fulham v Watford

New Year’s Day, Monday 1^st January 2007

As his mother had not returned from her New Year’s revelries, Joss, who’d spent the night at his friend’s, was home alone without the money or means to get to Watford Junction and onto a train for Euston. Fortunately, Faisel was able to pick him up and ensure he got safely onto a delayed Silverlink service. I met him there and we tubed it to Hammersmith and walked the twenty five minutes along Fulham Palace Road to Craven Cottage. After I told him they’d held Chelsea on Saturday, Joss thought we’d lose this match. I was hoping their exertions combined with our shorter-than-usual match meant we might have a little more in the fuel tank.

There were barcodes on the tickets, which were read at the turnstiles, but still a steward at the gate. Pointless rationalisation. We had tops removed from our bottles (I was rehydrating myself) and walked behind the length of the Putney Stand - vibrating with our fans’ enthusiasm – to our seats on the left side near the front. A couple of kids who sit in front of us in the Rookery were in front of us here too. We kicked off and the fans kept up the noise but in the sixth minute Fulham (bloody ex-Horn Heidar Helguson again – this time with his head) had the ball in the back of the net. The Fulham crowd to the left of us, silent until now, were up and celebrating but I joined the Watford fans in taunting them (for their silence thus far, I guessed).

Watford were having trouble maintaining possession and Danny Shittu went off injured after only thirty minutes. Helguson put the ball in the net again but this was disallowed for offside and again we taunted the Fulham crowd, which was so quiet that the chant “Is this a library?” had been asked by the travelling Yellow Army. Our best chance of the half was headed over by Tommy Smith. In the break, we drank hot chocolate from my flask and identified the flags in the programme denoting the players’ nationalities.

Smith didn’t come out for the second half (Boothroyd later claimed it was the worst half of football of our season so far but I am not convinced) but was replaced by Henderson to the dismay of some around us. There is an element which sings his name though, and had even done so as he warmed up on the touchline in the first half. It can only be based on previous form. His first shot was weak though on target and somehow he was penalised when Fulham defender and keeper collided, resulting in an eight minute delay and the stretchering off of Anti Niemi, who’d landed head first. I hoped the reserve keeper would be out of practice but even the thought is merely a triumph of naivety over experience.

With about 20 minutes remaining, Joss said he thought it’d end up 0-0. I frowned down at him. How could it, when it was already 1-0 to Fulham I harrumphed. It’s not, he correctly replied and drew my attention to the scoreboard behind us. The first “goal” had also been ruled offside, which is why our fans had been mocking the Fulham crowd. I’d spent almost the entire game thinking we were losing when we weren’t. It was a welcome relief as well as a bit of an embarrassment. Classify that under “not paying enough attention to the pitch.”

We urged the Golden Boys on for the nine minutes of rainy added time and Henderson produced a fantastic shot, reminiscent of Marlon King’s goal against West Ham, which thundered off the crossbar. It was certainly the best I’ve seen of him this season and you wonder whether it might have lifted his game if it had gone in. Fulham could also have won it at the death, when Ben Foster, who’d commanded his box superbly, coming out and claiming corners and through balls, was rounded by Collins John. Foster managed to push the ball out wide though and John could only hit the side netting. The game ended with Tamas Priskin, who’d looked quite sharp in the first half but quieter in the second on the right, got a second yellow.

On the train back we chatted with a QPR fan who got on at Shepherd’s Bush with his sister and who was so engrossed in conversation with us that when he got off he bade us farewell and ignored her. She called after him but was clearly then embarrassed by the event, sitting opposite those who witnessed her apparent insignificance. After pizza and pasta at home, we went bowling with Jun, Miho and Deyika and my form was so bad that big Watford Boy was beaten by smaller Watford Boy for the first time. Plus, I lost a tenner to Deyika, as I finished last of the five.

Tuesday 2^nd January

Today’s paper details a transfer I heard a fan talking about as we trooped out yesterday. Watford have signed the striker Moses Ashikodi, who was released by Millwall after apparently threatening a team-mate with a knife. “One for the future” is Betty’s verdict. Let’s hope we get some for now, too.