The mouse roars

Manchester United v Watford

Wednesday 31^st January

Drawing into Manchester Piccadilly Station at about twenty past six, Joss commented on the wet platforms. While much of the city has changed since I studied there between 1989 and 1992, the weather remains a constant element: reliably drizzly. We walked over to Piccadilly Gardens and got onto a packed tram for Old Trafford with foreign fans and a drunk local. I wiped my glasses dry again.

Joss (who already knew we’d drawn Ipswich at home in the fifth round of the cup) forecasted 3-0 to the Golden Boys for the night, the first time he’s been so unrealistic, in my view. I think this (and his refusal (a) to say whether he preferred Wayne Rooney or Christiano Ronaldo and (b) to be impressed by the stadium later) is a mark of his complete conversion to the yellow side. After the warranted abuse we hurled at their fans later, there can be no going back.

Outside the stadium we got talking to Anders from Sweden, a Watford fan who’d been converted after playing “Football Manager” back in 1998, and had spent £20 getting from Stockholm to Stanstead and a further £200 getting from there to Manchester. Al Gore would not be impressed at that ratio. To add to his expenditure, he’d put a tenner on Damien Francis scoring the only goal in a 1-0 Watford victory, at 35-1. He talked about our last stint in the Premiership and I explained a little to Joss about the victories over Liverpool and Chelsea in the 1999-2000 season.

We said our goodbyes (though he was just five rows in front of us inside) and took our back-row seats about 25 minutes before kick-off among fans who’d already started shouting encouragement to the team warming up. The rest of the stadium was quiet (due perhaps to the fact that it was mostly empty) and we could read the seats at the Stretford End but not the “big” screen. As though we’d willed him into appearing by mentioning his winning goal more than seven years previously in the 1-0 win at Anfield with Anders, Tommy Mooney was a few rows down in a flat cap (looking slightly Michael Stipe-like) and being celebrated.

Well, the Yellow Army’s enthusiasm far out lasted the resistance of the eleven men on the pitch. After twenty minutes Jay Demerit was penalised for pulling back Ole Gunnar Solskjaer in the box (though it looked like the hobbit had handballed it first) and Ronaldo dummied (meaning a bunch of players encroached) and scored from the spot. United toyed with us and perhaps thought they didn’t need to try too hard but we defended well against such nonchalance though hardly threatened them. United fans’ shouts for Rooney were hijacked by us for Mooney (turning into “Sign him up”) and we offered to sing for them as per. A minute or so before the break with the score still 1-0 (to the referee) I joined in the “Time for prawn sandwiches” chant and had to explain it to my nephew.

United were all over us to an even greater extent in the second half but it still took 15 minutes for their fans to wake up. Then Lloyd Doyley, who wears the same number shirt as Joss (but isn’t 12 years old) put his head on a cross and got himself an own goal. The lad played a massive part last season but hasn’t featured so much this. Painful to start here and do that. More painful because the inevitability of a goal had finally kick-started home support just a minute or three previously. Doyley’s almost seemed a response to that. I started a “We’re gonna win 3-2” chant, but it wasn’t until 11 minutes and two goals later that the idea took off. This time it was “We’re gonna win 5-4” and we got a laugh.

There were the usual songs for the team but with the competition over, the focus on the quiet of the stadium consumed us. “Your support is fucking shit”, “4-0 and you still don’t sing”, “We sing cos we love our team” and even two rounds of “United” (to do as we offered) were followed by “Worst support we’ve ever seen”. In addition, our support split to “We’re the right side over here” and “We’re the left side over here”, which has inexplicably been Joss’ favourite since the game at Craven Cottage. Aidy broke his rule and waved during the game to us when bid to, and we left still shouting.

The greatest disappointment was not the score but the fact that I never heard the roar of 70,000 people. Deyika picked us up and we had take-away pizza at his place on the eleventh floor in Moss Side, from the window of which you can see the ground. Miho and I watched Desperate Housewives on E4 while Deyika beat Joss three times at Pro Evolution Soccer 3.

Thursday 1^st February

The paper on the train home (and Aidy’s email) related the fact that we’d signed three more players (Gareth Williamson, Cedric Aninel, Johan Cavalli) and taken another (Douglas Rinaldi) on loan just before the transfer deadline. We may have resigned ourselves to going down, but the manager is insisting that we are preparing for the future (he doesn’t admit that this means promotion next year).